


Escape The Rabbit Hole

by Islandic_Princess



Series: Nct Au's [10]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Blood and Violence, I know 00line's 19 but they're still 18 in this story, Lots of emotional abuse, M/M, Not everything is how it appears to be, OT21 (NCT), Trigger Heavy, more tags to come as I update
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2020-09-24 21:41:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20365531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Islandic_Princess/pseuds/Islandic_Princess
Summary: //This is a rewrite of the story "Six Endings and One Beginning.//TRIGGER WARNINGS: VIOLENCE, BLOOD, DEATH, HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE, SELF HARM, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, ABUSE, and TOXIC/ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS. Take this warning into account before reading any of the chapters!!!!!!!!Seven teens from the ages of 19-16 find themselves living alone in a home two hours from their old residents, a mental asylum. They've been tasked with forming a normal life for themselves. They've been told to break from their pasts and create a future worth living for, worth thriving in. However, what happens when old demons reappear and old habits get the better of them? Can they find a way to deal with them before they're sent back for good? Or will they live the rest of their days in confinement composed of white walls, and sterile rooms.





	1. i

Another day, another week, as seven teens stood around two lone cars. The once rowdy crowd quickly quieted as a shadow passed them by just as the sun began to set over the bustling city. Words weren’t needed as they all shared a silent look. Before them stood their high school, silent and dark. The student’s were finishing up their last few days of summer and would be attending yet again the following day. However, this particular group of misfits had set their minds on starting the year with a bang. 

  
The clattering of a bag pulled their attention to a large black duffel bag now at their feet. Jisung, the youngest of the group, knelt down to pick through the bags contents before smiling and straightening once again. He pulled a can of red spray paint from the bag before tossing it to one of his friends with a nod of his head. As he passed the cans out, the group began buzzing to life with ideas and snickers. With a single motion of the oldest’s hand, the group tugged on masks and disappeared around the corner. Loud shouts and cheers could be heard from left and right, even in the most hidden of places, as the scent of paint seeped into the air. Within minutes, the walls, gardens, and concrete were stained in a multitude of colors. The sound of heavy footsteps echoed as shadow after shadow passed the vacant windows. Without warning, ravens squawked and fled from their nests as glass shattered. When the sun finally dipped beyond the horizon and out of sight, the troublesome students stumbled from the building, clothes drenched in paint, silly string, and caution tape. 

  
A shout from the groups leader had everyone heading for the cars as keys were tossed from person to person. Engines revved as the two drivers sped from the scene, curses and slurs being hollered in their wake as flashing lights could be seen just beyond the school’s gates. The two cars came to a halt as three cop cars pulled through the open gates, however they didn’t remain idle for long. Another rev of both engines and they were off, straight through the line without a care. 

  
On their way home, they made sure to take every precaution they could, from splitting up, to hitting up back roads and dingy alleys. When they arrived home, they parked in the driveway and cut the engines. All seven climbed out, making sure to throw the duffel bag, filled with the cans and tape, into the garbage to be picked up the following morning.

  
The group quickly dwindled from seven to five, to four, and down to two within minutes of everyone going off to do their own thing. The only two that remained were Renjun and Mark as they both sought after something to eat. In the end they both settled for a bowl of cereal as they sat at the kitchen island. They ate in a tense, yet decent silence until Mark cleared his voice before speaking. 

  
“You ever gonna tell them?” Renjun however just glared at his bowl of half eaten mini wheats. “They’ll find out at some point Renjun. It may not be today. It may not be next week. But they will. And with school starting you won’t be able to hide it forever.” The younger only stood and poured his bowl into the sink before placing it down. 

  
“No ones gonna find shit if you keep your mouth shut.” Usually people would cower at his tone of voice, or even drop to their knees and beg for forgiveness, but Mark wasn’t one of them. Mark knew the younger wouldn’t lay a hand on him, even if it meant life or death. 

  
“I have nothing to tell them. But the three full bottles of medication in your bathroom and the sketchbooks full of drawings based on your past may just be your downfall.” Marks eyes followed the others hand as it slid across the counter and towards a knife Hyuck left there that morning. 

  
“Why are you snooping in my room?” Renjuns fingertips brushed the metal objects handle before harshly gripping it as he spun to face the other, eyes wild and full of rage. 

  
“You left your door open and I put your towels back since you left them in the dryer, again. Just doing my job as one of your house mates.” The smile on the blonds face caused the Chinese males eye to twitch as he pointed the knife at him threateningly. 

  
“God, I’d cut you right now if I could. Make you bleed and beg for forgiveness just like all the others.” There was a small giggle as it quickly turned to a full blown laugh. “But I refuse to go back to that hell hole of a white nightmare.” Mark merly raised a brow as he sipped his tea. 

  
“Since when are you so scared of the hospital? You loved it there. You got to lock yourself away from Nana and Jeno. You got to see Kun and all the others whenever you pleased.” 

  
“Some of us don’t enjoy living like a caged animal, unlike you.” Renjun stepped closer as the light reflected off the tip of the knife. “But I do enjoy making people scream like ‘em.” There was no reaction as the knife was driven into the wood next to Mark’s hand that lay limp on the counter. Renjun grabbed a bag of m&m’s and slammed the cabinet closed. Before leaving he eyed Mark one last time. “I hope Jeno chokes you in your sleep for touching Nana.” What he didn’t notice was the small shake of the olders head as he left. 

  
“All I did was stop him from falling off the counter! And you know that!” 

  
“You still touched him!” Renjun heard a faint laugh as he made his way upstairs and to his room. As he walked down the hall, he could hear the music blaring from almost all the rooms, while except his and Marks of course. The room to the right of his, which belonged to the youngest, usually had the faint sound of music covered by loud yelling and game play. The room across from him which belonged to Donghyuck, always had music playing without fail. The teed didn't even need to be in his room for music to play. Marks room was the quietest as he usually used earbuds instead of a speaker but no one was complaining that's for sure. As for the other three rooms, it switched between music, yelling, and audio from the TV. 

  
When Renjun reached his room, he slipped in and shut the door locking it. He flicked the switch casting his once dark room in bright white light. The walls were coated in both small and large paint splatters. Even the floor had some markings here and there. In the far off corner of his room next to his window sat his bed, and next to that was his dresser. Renjun scanned his room, his eyes passed over countless sketchbooks, paint sets, easels, and canvases both unused and painted. However, it was the black speaker with green paint splattered on it that made him smile. He quickly made his way over to his bed where he plugged his phone in. Within seconds his room was filled with familiar lyrics as he rushed to his bathroom. His hand gripped the edge of the mirror on the cabinet before he yanked it open. What stared back at him was three unopened bottles of pills. They were meant to be taken twice a day to help him deal with his anger and depression but as soon as they were released from the hospitals confinements he stopped taking them. Of course he always brought a bottle to school in case his anger flared up, but things had yet to reach that level in the year they'd been living in the house. 

  
He let out a  _ tsk _ as he snatched the first bottle and popped the lid off. A smile formed as he dumped the contents into the toilet followed by the other bottles before tossing them into the garbage and flushing the toilet. When he was pleased with the results, he walked back into his bedroom and grabbed his sketchbook and pencil from his hammock. He debated on whether or not to sketch his frustration out or to sleep it off. In the end, he settled in his hammock and turned to a fresh page, his hand already getting to work. What seemed like seconds turned to hours and ended with three new drawings and a sore, cramped hand. Renjun looked down at his newest drawing, a deep frown evident on his features. In the center of the page was a small boy who stood in front of an older male. Both faceless yet familiar as red faded outwards in the background. 

  
Yawning, Renjun closed the sketchbook and hopped out of the swing, placing the book and pencil back in their place. Glancing at the clock had him sighing. He'd have to get up in a few hours for the first day of school. He didn't bother to change as he shut his lights and speaker off before climbing into bed. As soon as his head hit the pillow he was out. 

_   
A bright light reflects off white walls as Renjun squints. When his eyes manage to adjust he begins wandering down the endless space. Endless doors on either side are filled with whispers, the occasional scream and bang escapes causing him to speed up. When he reaches a room, the door wide open, he peaks in only to see a boy around his age sat on a bed. Light brown hair turned golden in the sun light that seeps through the lone window.  _

_   
"Junnie~" a voice calls, yet the boys lips don't move. "Junnie, you're not going to leave me, are you?" The boy smiles and reaches a hand out when recognition flashes across the olders face.  _

_   
"N-nana?" Renjun steps forward, barely reaching the others hand before the room becomes bigger, the bed nearly three times farther than before. Jaemin doesn't react to the distress in the others voice. He simply continues to smile and swing his legs as Renjun tries to reach for him again.  _

_   
"Why didn't you stop him? You let him do this. Don't you love us?" Renjuns attention is quickly turned to a new figure standing only feet away from Jaemin. The teen feels his stomach squeeze at the pool of blood that quickly forms under a pair of bare feet.  _

_   
"Jeno, I, I didn't know he-"  _

_   
"You didn't know he was going to stab me? Yet you stood there and watched. You walked away! You left me for dead!" Renjun looks away as Jenos body grows ghostly white, blood begins to pour from the corners of his mouth as his white sweater quickly goes from pink to scarlet.  _

_   
"I'm sorr-"  _

_   
"No you're not. You would have stopped me if you were sorry. You would've helped him Injun-ah but you didn't." Jaemin tilts his head, face void of emotion. "You've left us all for dead at one time or another because you can't handle the responsibility that comes with being human. That comes with being alive and around others."  _

_   
"You're wrong!" His body begins to shake.  _

_   
"Are we? Cause when Hyuckie went missing you didn't look for him. When Jeno was laying in a pool of his own blood you walked away. When I was strangling myself you didn't bat an eye. Mark? Left him in a locked room when he needed you. Chenle? Jisungie? You left them too."  _

_   
"Sh-shut up! Shut up! Just, shut up!" Renjun grips his head, eyes tearing up as the words repeat in his head.  _

_   
"Welcome to hell Renjun"  _

  
Loud ringing pulls Renjun from his sleep as he shoots up. He slams a hand onto his alarm before shakily running a hand through his hair. His body is coated in a thin layer of cold sweat causing his clothes to stick to his skin as he moves from the bed. He doesn't bother to check the time as he heads straight for the bathroom. The first thing he does is brush his teeth, then turns the shower on. As he waits for the water to heat up, he sits on the toilet to think over his dream. He doesn't remember much beyond Jaemin and Jeno being in it. When he deems the shower hot enough, he strips and climbs in letting the hot water relax him before turning it to freezing to help wake himself up. 

  
Once finished, he quickly dries off and throws on a pair of ripped skinny jeans, sneakers, and an over-sized sweater. When he locates his bag, he throws his charger and sketch book in it before plugging his earbuds into his phone and putting them in. Grabbing his bag, he heads downstairs and into the kitchen, ignoring the couple making out in favor of grabbing a waffle and sitting on the couch. His eyes are unfocused as he stares at the wall opposite of him while munching on his food. He doesn't react to the body that lays across his lap or licks his hand. If anything, he glances downward for a split second before nudging said body off his lap. 

  
"Awe, is injunnie in a bad mood?" Jeno leans over his shoulder so their faces are only centimeters apart. "Is it because you didn't get woken up by Nana?" There's a smirk on the youngers face as Renjuns hand balls into a fist. 

  
"Nono stop being an asshole so early in the morning" Jaemin whines as he sits up looking at the others for help. 

  
"I'm not stepping between an angry midget and a deranged killer." Donghyuck raises his hands, "that's Marks job." 

  
"Not at 6am it ain't." Mark says as he pulls Jeno out of the room by his collar. 

  
"You can ride with us Jun if you want," Hyuck offers but said teen only shakes his head and follows Jaemin to Jenos car. He knows better than to switch cars. Last time he did, Jaemin threw a fit and wouldn't stop crying for the rest of the day. 

  
The ride to school was rather uneventful as he sat in the back, eyes locked on the window as he let his music block out the world around him. When they had arrived, he was snapped back to reality when Jeno shook his leg. He gave the slightly younger boy a small smile, that probably came off as more of a grimace than anything else, as he got out of the car. He placed his bag over his shoulder and pocketed his phone. 

  
You see, Renjun and his group of, quite literal, crazy friends, were neither popular nor average. They were in-between in a sense. Everyone knew their names and faces, but not everyone acknowledged them or talked to them. Jisung was known for his dancing while Mark was considered the schools all star. Where Jaemin was known for his kindness, Jeno was known for his intelligence. Well Renjun came off as cold and distant, his art was strewn all over the school in the form of posters and murals. In the end, it was Donghyuck and Chenle who received the most attention overall. Chenle was the king of gossip while Donghyuck was the lead organizer for all things school related. 

  
As they walked across the parking lot, they couldn't help the smiles that formed as the other students yelled and cheered regarding their little master piece. Well, all but Renjun. As much as he'd enjoyed their escapade, he couldn't bring himself to cheer like the others. The loud yells of teachers and police wandering around had caused him to freeze up mid step. 

  
"They're going to be wandering around -  _ after you. They'll be coming after you for what you did Renjun." _ The teens eyes widened as he looked to his side. Chenle's eyes were wide as small sparkles shown from where the sun hits them just right. 

  
"Come-come again?" 

  
"I said, the cops, they'll be wandering around all day trying to clean the mess." Renjun nodded as he slowly looked away. 

  
"Do you think we'll get stuck in an assembly first thing?" Donghyuck spun around as he walked backwards.

  
"How the fuck should I know?" Renjuns eyes scanned over his friends as they spoke. He notes how Jaemin practically hung from Jenos arm as the older responded. 

  
"No need to be so rude," the smile on a certain redheads face contradicted the dark look to his eyes, as said teen turned back 'round as he reached the sidewalk. "I was just wondering if I needed to still attend first period or if I could just go ahead and skip -  _ again. You skipped again!? That's the third time this week! When will you start behaving!?"  _

  
"I'm sorry.." His voice small, barely a whisper, as he hurried off towards the ever growing group of students hanging around the front of the school. 

  
"Renjun!?" Jaemins voice fell on deaf ears as he calls for the older, but to no eval. The others watched on in equal confusion before rushing off to their lockers and soon first period classes. 

  
As the first bell sounds in the distance, a bag goes skidding across lushes green grass as a small frame collides shoulder first into a brick wall. Two hands curl and uncurl, twice, three times, four, before gripping at honey gold roots and pulling. If one were to listen carefully, they'd hear the sound of struggled breaths and pained whimpers filling the air. Small pleads of forgiveness break through every now and again until the body can no longer support itself before slowly sliding to a sitting position, knees coming to curl against one's chest in an attempt to hide. 

  
Renjuns eyes darted around frantically as if searching for something, only to land on the contents of his bag splayed across the ground. His head began to pound as his heart raced creating a thrumming in his ears. As the sound grew in volume, he slipped his hands from his hair and down to his ears to try and block the sound out. 

  
His body flinches and presses against the wall as it reacts to a sound only he can hear. His breathing becoming erratic as he stares off into the distance, observing something no one else can see. 

_   
Bang… Bang… Bang…  _

_   
It takes three heart stopping bangs to get him curled into a ball in the back of his closet as he hides. A phone gripped tightly in his hand as it continues to ring, but no sound emanates. He refuses to make the same mistakes again.  _

_   
It takes his name being screamed over and over again, curses and threats added on at the end to make him cry. He hates living here. He hates waking up numb and going to sleep in fear. In pain. He's not sure when he fell asleep, but he knows he only has minutes before his father comes back for another round before work.  _

_   
He sends his cousin a quick text to let him know he'll call when he arrives to school as he changes into his uniform and snatches his bag off the floor. He checks to make sure all of his things are in their place.  _

_   
"Wallet? Front pocket. Charger? Side… Phone? Phone?" The teen scanned his room before spotting his phone on the floor of his closet. He rushes over before snatching it and making his way back over to the lone window in his room.  _

_   
Grabbing his bag, he slings it over his shoulder and opens his window before climbing out and onto the giant oak tree just outside. When he'd originally picked his room, he didn't think it would be to aid his escape from his abusive father. As he reached the bottom, he quickly sent another text to let his cousin know he wouldn't be home after school before getting into his drivers car. The drive to school was silent as always, but Renjun welcomed the rare emptiness as he watched the landscape just out of reach change and bend in blurred vision.  _

_   
When he arrives, the once lively and energetic atmosphere quickly becomes one of silence and fear. He only takes a second to compose himself before stepping out, his usual smirk in place as he walks through the throng of students who step out of his way. He stands with pride as he shoves the new girl out of the way, her books tumbling to the floor as she stumbles sideways into the lockers.  _

_   
"Reign with fear, fall without mercy," he whispers as a reminder when he feels a pang of guilt in his chest.  _

_   
He passes locker 236 on his way to first period. It's his locker, one he's never used in the three years he's been at the school. He's only opened it once. He still regrets it to this day as flashbacks of hate notes and death threats cross his mind. The days spent like so many rare ones before it, where he spends the full day attending class after class.  _

_   
When the last bell rings, he rushes from the school and into his usual car as he heads home. However, he doesn't go in when he arrives home. He hides his bag in the bushes just feet away from his favorite tree before taking off down the driveway. He spends his time wandering around the shops near his home until he comes across a lovely jewelry store. He steps in and smiles sweetly before looking around. His eyes land on a beautiful watch that he must have. He waves over one of the workers as he requests to try it on, making sure to point out his overflowing wallet. The nice lady offers him the chance to try it on. When he tells her he'll take it, she steps away to grab some paperwork.  _

_   
Of course, Renjuns a professional at this type of thing. He waits a couple of seconds, eyeing up another watch he only just now notices sitting on the display rack the lady carelessly left sitting out. He fiddles with it before gently removing it and slipping it into the pocket of his jacket. He lets the sleeve slip over his hand, covering the watch, as he begins walking towards the door. No one bats an eye at him until he's already out the door as the alarm sounds from the tags. He waves sweetly at everyone inside before saluting and taking off down the road, a black mask now covering the bottom half of his face.  _

_   
He runs and runs, easily weaving around the crowd as his eyes scan for an alley to hide in. Just as he turns a corner, he hears a police radio describing the store he just ran from.  _

_   
"Shit!" He doesn't mean for it to come out so loudly as he backs up. The police officers voice has him panicked as he puts more effort into his escape.  _

_   
His lungs burned, and his legs ached as he finds a small alley behind a building. Renjun doubles over as he yanks the mask down, coughing as he does so. He can hear the police chatting and yelling about where he may or may not be as he frantically looks around. If he keeps going straight, he'll run straight into the main group of officers but there's also a fire escape leading to a roof. If he goes left, he'll come to a dead end, but it's only blocked by a link fence he can easily scale. The only downside is the incline on the other side. He'll have to go down it and wade through a knee deep creek for at least a couple of minutes before he reaches the swears where he can get back to the main streets.  _

_   
With a deep inhale, he pulls the mask back up and risks it all as he runs. He runs past at least three officers who try to grab for him, but he's quick. He's quicker, and he's smarter than he lets on as he jumps for the bottom of the ladder and scales it. An officer goes after him but isn't as quick and Renjun reaches the top. He spots an access door running straight for it and slamming it open as he rushes downstairs, two, three steps at a time. He slams one lady out of his way knocking her groceries onto the floor as he bypasses another occupant on the stairs nearly colliding with them as well. He slams the front door open with his shoulder as he runs through yet another crowd of people. He doesn't know where he is or how to get home from his current location. But it doesn't stop him as he keeps going. He knows he'll find something familiar eventually. As he comes to a stop outside a flower shop, he spots the familiar car. Taking his chances, he opens the door and climbs in the very back ducking behind the seats. Seconds after his head ducks below the velvet interior, the door opens revealing his mother as she climbs in, chatting happily on the phone unaware of her son's presence.  _

_   
He remains still, silent, as the hour long drive ensues. When the car comes to a finale stop his mother gets out but he remains.  _

_   
"Renjun, sir, your mother has already gone around back to the garden." The voice of the driver informs him as the young teen lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He thanks the man before climbing out and heading in the front door. He decides he'll grab his bag on the way to school tomorrow, he'll use his back up charger for the night.  _

_   
As he reaches the living room he freezes. Standing before him is his father, face red and eyes enraged.  _

_   
"You!" There's quick steps before a sharp sting is all he feels in his cheek, eyes welling with tears. "You stole again! I don't know what. But my friend, officer Lang, just called to inform me that a robber fitting your description stole from the Diamond Club." Renjun can't respond as his throat becomes dry. "Do you not have anything to say for yourself!?" He screams as a hand grips his hair and pulls harshly-  _

  
"Injun-ah!" Renjun can hear screaming. It sounds like his voice, but it's distant and distorted. "Rennie?" There's a hand touching his face. No, it's wiping his tears before carefully caressing his cheek. 

  
"Jen… Jeno?" The scared teen looks up, body shaking as he uncurls himself. 

  
"Hey…" The youngers voice is soft, gentle as if speaking any louder will break Renjun. "We got worried when we couldn't find you. We tried calling but it just kept going to voicemail." Renjun watches as Jeno slowly sits next to him, but doesn't touch him. "The others already went home. Nana's having one of his fits thinking you left him for dead." There's a dry chuckle as Jeno looks at the bag next to him. "I packed your stuff up. Figured you didn't want them to get ruined. Especially your sketchbook." 

  
"Thank you," it's all Renjun can muster up as his brains still hazy and confused. But he knows it's enough when the male besides him smiles. 

  
"We may bicker and get at each other's throats, but we have to look out for one another. Especially during times like these." Jeno doesn't react when a small body collides with his. He merely rubs the others back. 

  
"I stopped taking my meds…" 

  
"I know. I was the one who told Mark. He didn't find the bottles, I did." Jeno admits. "I figured you'd listen to him. Everyone else does. But I guess it only pushed you to get rid of them, huh?" Renjun nods. 

"I flushed all three bottles…" 

  
"That's what.. 6 months worth of doses?" Jeno generally asks making the other feel even worse. "How are you gonna tell Winwin? You'll have to get replacements and there's no way he's just gonna write you a prescription or hand them over." 

  
"I.. I don't know. I'll tell him the truth. I've never done something like this, but then again, we've only lived in the house for 11 months. Somethings bound to happen without them being around constantly." There's a hum of agreement. 

"Jisungs completely stopped talking. The only one who can pull even a word from him is Chenle, but that's even pushing it at times. You stopped medicating and Jaemin's having more fits by the day." Jeno tilts his head back against the wall, "sometimes I think it would've been better to keep us locked up. Yeah, we lived like caged animals but we were safe. We had everyone we needed to keep us healthy and we were getting better. Slowly, but better." There's only silence that follows as Jeno glances downwards. "Did you really fall asleep princess?" He only receives small puffs of air as a response as Renjuns chest begins to slow to a steady rise and fall.   
  


Jeno chuckles as he grabs the bag next to him and slings it onto his shoulder before picking the sleeping figure up bridal style. A small smile forms when Renjun curls up in his arms as he walks to the car. He thanks the heavens above that it's just the two of them, allowing Renjun to sleep during the hour long drive. Jeno places him in the passenger seat before getting in himself. When he starts the car, he turns the radio down low so it's just a hum in the background as he shoots a text to the others before beginning the drive home.   
  


During the drive, Jeno makes sure to check on the sleeping figure next to him every so often. He knows the older tends to have nightmares nearly nightly. However, the more stressed Renjun becomes, the worse the horrors become.   


The relaxed look on the others face has a calm washing over the younger as he smiles, one hand on the wheel as the other gently squeezes the small hand in his. He thinks he could get used to this, the calm between them. The once friendly banter and shared whispers between them when they're alone. But he knows they'll never be like that again, not when the only thing on his mind these past few years is Jaemin. When he sees the familiar light grey, two story house in his head lights, a defeated sigh fills the car as he deflates. 

  
He pulls into the driveway next to Marks shimmering black car, cutting the engine. Jeno grabs his phone from the cup holder and opens the group chat. Deciding to ignore the onslaught of questions, he sends a quick "juns asleep" before shutting the small device off. A small noise sounds from his right as Jeno carefully removes his hand from Renjuns as he quietly exits the car. He shuts the door as soft as he can before going to the passenger side and opening the door. He grabs the paint covered, baby blue backpack from the floor slinging it onto his shoulder. Jenos breath hitches as he picks the small body up. He's not expecting Renjun to nuzzle into his chest as he clings to the thin fabric of Jenos shirt. 

  
As he walks around the front of the car, Jeno can make out Marks figure standing in the doorway. He doesn't need to ask as the concerned look coating the elders face says it all. The living room light casts shadows onto the front walkway as he gets closer. He wants to ask why the older is so concerned but he's not given the chance as Renjun is taken from his arms with only a small "thank you." He doesn't push it, just a small nod in return as he watches Mark carry the still asleep teen upstairs. As he finally steps into the room, the front door shutting softly behind him, he's met with four pair of eyes on him. 

  
"Minnie, why are you crying?" A sad smile tugged at the corners of his lips as Jaemin rushes into his arms. "I told you I'd bring him home safe, didn't I?" His question is only met with a broken sob as the youngers shoulders shake. 

  
"He thought you and Renjun left him," Donghyuck speaks up as he watches the couple. "Mark tried to calm him down but it only made him more upset." He watches Jeno nod slowly as he rubs the pink haired boys lower back. 

  
"I'm gonna take him upstairs," is all he replies as he leads Jaemin towards the stairs and up to his room seeing as it's the closest of the twos. The rest of the night is spent with a silent house and hushed whispers. 

  
The following week is filled with tension as the group begins to go their own ways. Mark won't leave Renjuns side as the second eldest hasn't fully recovered from the school incident. They've all noticed how Renjun avoids Jeno like the plague, as if the younger would bring death and suffering upon the smaller. In turn Jaemin's begun to shut himself in. He doesn't speak to them as much anymore, opting to hang around his new friends every chance he gets. Donghyuck and the younger two are now constantly caught up in the beginning of the year activities which keep them late at school. 

  
Mark can't help but frown as he notices the tired stares the Chinese male sends towards their deranged friend. Jeno was currently in the pool in the groups backyard. They had all decided it was too nice of a day to spend indoors. 

  
As a silent agreement they made their way towards the back patio where Jeno and Donghyuck hadn't hesitated to dive into the pool. Jisung however had made it his goal to help Chenle catch some bugs in the garden to the right of the patio. Jaemin simply sat on the pools edge his feet dipped in the cool water as Jeno occasionally stopped by to talk with the bright smiling boy. Mark had followed Renjun to the large swinging bench where the two now sat. 

  
"Why are you avoiding him? I mean you two aren't as close as you used to be, that much is obvious." Mark glanced to his left, his frown deepening at the way Renjun curled in on himself. 

  
"I don't know. Whenever I see him, I just…" Renjun sighed as he tried to form the words he wanted, "get scared..? Like if I stick around something bad is bound to happen. And it scares me. I know Jeno would never hurt me on purpose but my chest gets all tight and the familiar panic begins to crawl it's way from the deepest pits." Mark has to strain his hearing in order to catch the others words. 

  
"When did it start?" 

  
"When he found me. It was like talking to the old Jeno, Mark. He was so sweet and nice, even held my hand the whole way home. He hasn't been that soft with me since Jaemin arrived three years ago," he hates the way his voice cracks and how his eyes sting. He does however, welcome the warm hug from Mark as the older wraps him in his arms. 

  
"Why don't we go inside ya? We can order lunch and watch Moomin?" There's a soft nod from Renjun that has Mark smiling slightly as he gently pulls away and stands. The two head inside without a word to the others.


	2. ii

Before they know it, a giddy Jaemin is running through the living room, a confused and drenched Jeno following close on his heels. Renjun glances up quick enough to see the large jagged scar that spreads along Jenos abdomen. The mark a ghastly white compared to the tanned skin around it. 

  
"I'm going out so don't hold up!" Is the only thing Jaemin shouts before he's out the front door, a car horn honking just as the door slams shut behind the teen. He knows he'll get an ear full from Mark and a good yell or two from Jeno when he gets back, but he couldn't care less at the moment as he climbed into the car. 

  
"Hi pretty," a voice calls to him as smoke is blown in the space around him. He simply smiles pulling the others face close to his, lips pressing together for a split second. 

  
"I need a smoke," Jaemin's voice is a whisper against the strangers lips as the older grins, a familiar white stick between his fingers. 

  
"I was beginning to think you were a liar pretty thing." If the stranger notices the way Jaemin flinches at the nickname, then he doesn't say anything. "We've known you for a week but you haven't taken a single drag or drink." Jaemin just giggles, his lips twitching into a smile as he takes a drag from the cigarette. His lungs burn as the deep inhale of smoke fills them before being blown out. 

  
"That guard dog of yours finally letting you out of his sight?" Another voice asks making Jaemin whine at the mention of the raven haired boy. 

  
"Can we not talk about him?" The whine he emits making the others whistle. "I came to get high and wasted. And if lucky laid." Jaemin knows deep down it's wrong but he hasn't had fun in years and misses being his carefree self. A hand settles on his upper thigh as something is pressed to his lips. Jaemin doesn't need to be told what to do or think for that matter as he inhales another lung full of smoke. He lets his mind go into autopilot as the car quickly filled with smoke. 

  
By the time the car pulls to a stop, the engine cutting, he's a giggling mess as his head becomes hazy and his limbs loose. He's helped from the car as a hand pulls him towards a large house. A glass bottle. Of half drunk alcohol falling from his hand, covering the walkway in brown glistening glass. He's lead to a large chair before being pulled into a lap, hands roaming his body. The alcohol in his system making his body warm and fuzzy as he leans against a hard chest, nose nuzzling at the olders neck before trailing kisses along the exposed skin. 

  
"Pretty thing~" Jaemin looks at the owner of the voice, eyes clouded over with need and want. "Shall we take this upstairs?" Jaemin thinks he responds, he swears he does. But it doesn't matter as two strong hands pick him up by the underside of his thighs. He doesn't need to take a hint as he wraps his legs around the others waist, one hand on the olders chest as the other curls in lushes brown locks.  _ It's not as soft as Jenos, nor as pretty _ , he thinks to himself, pushing any thoughts of the older to the depths of his mind. 

  
He revels in the way he's kissed. It's messy and rough, teeth clashing with lips bruised and sore. He doesn't remember when his clothes were removed or when they made it to the bed but he doesn't care. Every touch and movement has him letting out sinful moan after moan, eyes rolling into the back of his head at the pleasure he's missed so dearly. 

  
It's all torn from him in mere seconds as the body above him stills, eyes wide as the olders lips tremble for a split second. Jaemin's confused as the body is suddenly yanked away and onto the floor, a warm pool of liquid covering his stomach. 

  
"Jaemin," a low voice practically growls out as the pink haired boys body goes numb as he slowly sits up. He uses the sheet to cover himself not caring if the once pristine white sheets are now a dark scarlet. His eyes darted to the once lively body now hunched over in a pool of blood. He refuses to look the other figure in the eyes as he looks towards the bare wall across from him. "I could just kill you right now." 

  
A single tear falls down his cheek at the pure anger in the raven haired boys voice. He utters a broken, "please..?" He doesn't know what he's asking for but he knows there's something his mind wants. Something it seeks for. He hasn't felt this broken in nearly three years as he's forcefully pulled from the bed. He can already feel the bruise forming on his upper arm from the way Jeno drags him across the room, the sheet being the only thing keeping him from being fully nude. 

  
"I'll make you regret this Minnie. You're mine and only mine." A shiver runs up his spine at the coldness in Jenos voice, the lack of emotion in the laugh he lets out after speaking. He turns towards the scared boy, pupils blown wide, a crazed look in his eyes. One Jaemin wishes he'd never seen as the slightly older boy removes the sheet before forcing Jaemin to get dressed. He's too scared to speak as he's picked up and carried down and out of the house. The heavy scent of blood has him burying his face in Jenos chest. 

  
Jaemin sat in the passenger seat with his knees to his chest, eyes wide and on Jeno as the unstable boy rambles on and on. He knows they're going way beyond the speed limit as he watches Jeno press on the gas. He doesn't speak in fear of getting yelled at but he jumps in his seat when once warm and vibrant brown eyes suddenly look at him. 

  
"You're mine Minnie, you know that right? You can't whore around with random guys like you used to. I won't allow it. I'll hurt all of them, even if it means making them spill the pretty red liquid." There's a smile on Jenos face before he's laughing and facing the road again. "No ones gonna take you from me." The cars silent for a short bit before Jenos looking at him again. "I love you Minnie. You love me too, right? You still love me don't you?" 

  
"O-of course," Jaemin's on the verge of crying again as he forces his words out. "Of course I love you nono, you're my baby. My one and only baby." He forces a smile that seems to please the older as he happily goes back to driving, his foot slowly lifting from the accelerator. 

  
He always knew Jeno was dangerous. They were constantly told by the staff and doctors to avoid upsetting the boy. But they were never told why, or how he ended up there. It was always just a constant "we can't have him find out." "He's not safe to be around when upset or angry, please avoid causing such situations as it's in your best interest." He remembers Jeno randomly disappearing at times for days or even weeks on end only to show up tired one morning quietly asking for cuddles and kisses. He never thought much about it seeing as the others went through the same thing every once in a while. But now he knows and understands. 

  
He's snapped from his train of thought as Jenos words catch his attention. "It'll just be the two of us home. Mark took Injunnie to the hospital near the mall since Sicheng wanted to see him. Duckie wanted to hit the arcade up at the mall so Jisungie and Chenle went with him. They won't be back for hours." His body goes cold as he sees the house quickly coming into view, the once unshed tears falling once the car comes to a stop in the driveway. He doesn't dare move, flinching when the driver side door slams shut before his own is opened. He wants to scream when a hand grabs his hair harshly, pulling him out of his safe space before he's being dragged up the walkway by his wrist, another bruise he'll have to hide. 

  
As he's pulled behind Jeno, he can't help the way his eyes flicker around, he swears he can see his mother and father laughing at him, their voices echoing in his head. The same words of "whore," "slut," "useless," and "unwanted," making him panicked. He doesn't realize they've already reached Jenos room until his side is meeting with the cold wooden floors and the doors lock is clicking in place. 

  
Jaemin's eyes are wide and full of fear as he looks around the room. He can see what appears to be a leather suitcase half opened on the bed, but his attention is quickly drawn back to the boy standing by the door. Soft giggles quickly turn to loud laughter as heavy footfalls echo. In his panic, Jaemin struggles to stand, his body and mind still heavily affected by the alcohol in his system. His arms and legs shake ever the slightest as he crawls on all fours. The scared teen goes for the balcony doors in the hope of diving into the pool. Hell, he'd take Donghyucks flower beds if it meant his survival. 

  
"You know Jaemin," the previously loud footfalls had slowly died down to soft thuds as if mocking him. "I read your file when you first entered the hospital. I thought to myself, how could such a pretty boy such as yourself end up here? What could you have possibly done to piss the universe off so fucking much that your parents would send you away?" Jaemin risks glancing behind him only to cry out for the older to leave him be. 

  
"S-stop! Please! I haven't done anything," Jaemin begs. He pleads but to no avail as he only receives a harsh laugh. 

  
"You haven't done anything? That's such a bold statement coming from Korea's own personal whore. Yeah I know of your little escapades. How you would sleep your way through life. Even got a poor teacher arrested over a stupid grade. A 96 really Jaemin? I thought you were better than that." Jeno comes to a halt as the tip of his shoe hits Jaemin's foot. 

  
"I'm so sorry," a broken sob fills the room, "I didn't mean to get him in trouble!" 

  
"Mommy and daddy finally get tired of your shit huh? Tired of their precious little 15 year old druggie sleeping with anything and everything that breathed?" Jeno pressed the ball of his foot against the youngers right leg making him yelp in pain. "Some boy shows you the slightest bit of attention and suddenly you can't get out of his pants? Pathetic," the way Jeno spits the word causes Jaemin's chest to tighten. 

  
The amount of hate and disgust in the others voice and words sends the pink haired teens world crumbling. The room around him began to spin as a searing hot pain shot up his leg. His once white jeans now a deep red as they're quickly stained. Small whimpers repeatedly fall from his lips as the pain increases. He can feel the skin on his lower leg tearing as something is dragged through it agonizingly slow. 

  
"You've only had a taste of freedom for just under a year," Jaemin can feel the warmth of a breath fanning against his neck, then his ear as Jeno continues to speak. "How many did you sleep around with during our junior year huh?" 

  
"None," he quickly shakes his head. 

  
"None? So you magically, out of the blue decided tonight would be the perfect time to do so?" The tearing in his leg had finally stopped only for a hand to yank him up off the floor. 

  
"I'm sorry nono," there's tears pouring down pale cheeks as he looks at the teen before him. "I let myself go and wasn't thinking clearly. It-it won't happen aga-" 

  
"There won't be another chance." It's growled out with so much authority that Jaemin can't help but flinch, the pain in his leg long forgotten. His back harshly lands against the bed as he looks up. He doesn't try to fight the older as he cages him. He does however glance at the shiny object in Jenos hand. It's a mere kitchen knife now covered in his own blood. "If I can't have you to myself then no one can." 

  
"Please forgive me," Jaemin smiles weakly as he leans upwards giving his lover one finale kiss. When he pulls away, he can see something flicker in Jenos eyes before his scream is cut short, hands coming to cover the gash that spills glistening scarlet. His body quickly becomes cold as the bedroom door slams open and shouting insuses, yet he can't make any of it out as he chokes on his own blood.

  
A single tear slides down Jenos cheek when realization flashes across his face. The teen is quickly disarmed and pulled off the bed by a frantic doctor he knows all too well as his view is blocked. He can no longer see Jaemin as multiple people, all familiar yet not, rush to the young boys side. Jeno lets himself be pulled out of the room in cuffs, a large smile on his face as a small voice tells him he did right. It tells him it'll all be worth it in time, that his precious baby will be back in his arms soon enough. 

  
The horrified faces of his friends greet him once he exits the house. None of them speak or make a sound as they watch him being led to a black van. Just minutes later a stretcher is being rushed from the house, an unconscious Jaemin laying on the bed. A thin blanket covered in haunting stains covers the teens body but the group can clearly see the gauze wrapped around his neck. Small droplets leak from the medical bandage leaving small stains on the walkway, only stopping when a towel is placed over the drenched fabric. Small whimpers and cries fill the dark street as both the van and ambulance speed off into the night. 

  
No one makes a move for the house, all afraid to see what they may face. After what felt like an eternity, Renjun was the first to enter. He didn't spare the others a glance as he went straight for the stares. 

~

  
A mouth opens as if gasping for air, yet no sound is made. The owner looks around frantically as his eyes are met with endless white walls. The room smells heavily of cleaning alcohol and something Jaemin can't quite make out. His eyes finally land on the sleeping figure sat next to the hospital bed. He breaths out a sigh of relief at the familiar face before trying to speak. Not a single sound is made no matter how many times he tries. Tears stung his eyes as he leans forward to shake the nurses hand. 

  
As the nurses body suddenly shoots upright, Jaemin backs away and presses his body against the pillows. Worried eyes quickly turn to relief as their eyes meet for the first time in just under a year. The nurse places a hand on the young teens as a sad smile forms. 

  
"Hey nana, how you feeling?" Jaemin's bottom lip trembles as he stares. He tried to speak again but still, nothing comes out. "It's okay sweetie," a hand combs his hair before wiping away a few stray tears, "you're throat will get better in due time. Kun says you'll be talking again in no time after some rest. I was so worried you wouldn't wake up. We weren't too sure how much damage Jeno caused in his switch but I'm glad you're awake." Jaemin eyes the notepad on the table next to the bed, grabbing it along with a pen. 

  
"How long have I been here?" It's quickly scribbled down but still readable. 

  
"Two weeks," the male taps his chin. "You were in and out of consciousness for the first few days but suddenly wouldn't wake on the fourth. None of us were willing to give up though." 

  
"Where's…." Jaemin stares at the paper, his hand suddenly not wanting to write. 

  
"Jeno? Isolation. He's a danger at the moment especially for you so Doyoung had him locked away. He's only gotten worse though, screaming for you." 

  
"Jungwoo, why was he sent here?" Jungwoo looks at the words and sighs. 

  
"It's not my story to tell. Jeno will have to tell you once he remembers." The light haired brunette suddenly stands holding a hand out. "Let's change that gauze and get you walking about some." Jaemin hesitates but takes the outstretched hand. It's slow at first, but he manages to stand on wobbly legs. 

  
Cold air hits his legs making him look down. A heavy frown sits on his face as he stares at the white dressings on his lower right leg. From right above his knee down to his ankle is wrapped. He can hear Jungwoo ask him a question but he can't make any of the words as he merely shakes his head. A light tug on his hand has him slowly looking up before gently being led to the bathroom across from the bed. Once inside, the lights were flicked on bringing a new wave of confusion and questions.  _ Whys the mirror wrapped in a black trash bag?  _ Is the first thing that has his mind spinning. 

  
"Sit down on the chair so you don't hurt your leg." Jaemin does as instructed, watching the once smiley nurse go about gathering what he needs. "You are to not remove the trash bag no matter what understand?" A painful nod from the pink haired boy gives Jungwoo a little weight off his shoulders. "This is going to hurt a little since you're leg and neck are still healing but I'll try to be as gentle as possible." 

  
The next couple of minutes are spent with Jaemin trying not to cry and Jungwoo profusely apologizing. Once the new bandages were in place, Jungwoo carefully helped the sniffling teen to his feet and back to bed. 

  
He's not sure how many days or weeks pass by. However, he wakes in the middle of the night to a craving. He knows it's not for food, it's weird almost. Dull nails scratch lightly at the bandage around his neck. He looks to the bathroom before rushing from his bed. Jungwoo had been forcing him to walk more and more with each passing day. His legs were still faintly wobbly from moving so quickly but he forced himself to reach the bathroom. A sudden rage filled him as he ripped the trash bag off the mirror. His hand scraped along the wall until it hit cold plastic. He flicked the switch, bloodshot eyes stared back at him. He didn't even recognize his own reflection as his cheeks had hollowed while his eyes sunk leaving behind dark circles. He stepped closer, hands coming to grab at the white fabric that irritated him. 

  
A loud ear piercing scream filled the medical wing as Jaemin stared at the bright red line across his neck. It was the first sound he's made in the nearly three weeks since he's been awake. 

  
"Jaemin!?" Said teen doesn't turn at his name being called. His hands shake as he stares at the haunting mark. 

  
"Take me to him." 

  
"Jaem-" 

  
"Take me to him!" Jaemin spins on his heels, anger reaching a boiling point. Jungwoo straightens as his face hardens. He simply holds a hand out towards the door leading to the hall. The nurse leads the way to the isolation wing, not speaking a word as they pass once empty rooms now full of life. 

  
As they walk, familiar laughter and cheers fill Jaemin's ears as he looks around him. He can make out Jisung running past him as Chenle chases him laughing, a fake beetle in hand. When they turn the corner he freezes at the sight of Renjun standing stalk still, a plush rabbit in hand. There's tears falling down his face as he seems to be looking past the teen at something behind him. When he turns to look he's met with an image of himself and Jeno happily chatting as they lean against a wall. He remembers the image as being his first time ever meeting the raven haired boy outside the common room. He'd only been in the hospital a little over a week at that point. 

  
The sound of a voice clearing has him spinning back around as the crying Renjun vanishes into thin air. He doesn't look up, instead stares at his feet before continuing to follow once again. A few more turns and they reach a set of heavy metal doors. Jungwoo swipes his card and they click open, a loud drawn-out wail coming from the hinges as the doors open. Jaemin looks up and sees there's only a few staff within the hall. When he looks at them closely, it appears they're all surrounding one specific door chatting. 

  
"You have an hour max. Doyoung will keep an eye on you along with Jaehyun in case anything happens." With that Jungwoo moves to sit in one of the few chairs lining the wall. Jaemin quietly walks along the corridor peaking into the empty cells as he does. 

  
"As much as I love seeing you up and about again, why are you here?" Jaehyun's the first to speak but Jaemin ignores him pushing his way between the two. 

  
"Jungwoo knows you aren't supposed to be here. Why did he bring you?" The doctor looks at the boy with stern eyes.   
  


"I needed to see him Doyoung. I need to know why he did it…" The two look at Jaemin shocked as he quietly speaks. 

  
"He hasn't spoken a word beyo-" Jaehyun's sentence is cut short as a loud bang emanates through the hall.

  
"Minnie~ you came to visit!" There's a joyful laugh from the other side of the door. 

  
"I came to get answers." There's silence before Jenos face comes into view. The small window in the door being the only thing keeping the older from reaching through. 

  
"Answers? You want answers!?" Jeno yells enraged as he pounds a hand against the door. Jaemin flinches but keeps his feet planted. "What? You forget how you slept with some guy you just met?" A sickly sweet smile spreads across the raven haired males face as he eyes the mark on Jaemin's neck. "Or do you want answers as to why I slit your pretty little throat?" 

  
"Jeno, please?" A sickening feeling sets in his stomach at the way Jeno looks at him. The way the older just smiles and slowly taps his fingers against the window. 

  
"Well sweetheart, I'm crazy. Completely and utterly nuts. Screws loose, the whole shabang! I get off to watching the life drain from peoples eyes. The warmth seeping from the body as it turns cold. I'm a sick fuck darling." 

  
"B-but," He can't form any words as he tries to process everything. 

  
"That pretty little slit there, would've been deeper if it weren't for Doyoung and the others showing up when they did. Your leg however, well you'll always have a limp to be nice about it." Jeno suddenly looks bored as he sighs. "Maybe I can dream about watching you die." Jaemin jumps at the glare that's suddenly sent his way as Jeno begins banging on the door again screaming. "You filthy whore! You just had to sleep around didn't you!? You just can't be happy with what you already have? When I get out of here I'm going to cut you to pieces." It's growled out in a way that has Jaemin backing away and into the opposite wall. 

"You sick fuck." His eyes are wide as he shakes. 

  
"Oh hun, we're all fucked up if you haven't noticed." There's a giggle from the room as Jeno vanishes from the window. "Have fun seeping into the background once you leave. After all, Rennie hates your guts and the others are preoccupied with their own problems and each other." Another laugh echoes in Jaemin's head as he's ushered out of the wing into Jungwoos open arms. The nurse hugs him tightly before wiping away the steady stream of tears. He doesn't know when he started crying but he just wants it to end. 

  
"Woo, take me to my room. I need to lie down." 

  
"Of course nana." Jungwoo keeps an arm around the shaking boy as he leads him back to the now vacant corridor of rooms. They pass by room after room all perfectly cleaned yet kept the same as the day they all left. When they reach Jaemins, he's quickly laid on the bed and covered with blankets. "I'll be back in two hours with your medicine and lunch." Jaemin weakly nods and rolls onto his left side hiding his face in the pillow. Jungwoo leaves, flicking the lights off but not before turning on a small lamp. He shuts the door as softly as he could. He lets the darkness of sleep take him as his mind begins to wander. 

_   
There was a dull pain in his lower back as his head felt like it was splitting. The night had started off rather simple. The 15 year old was sat at his desk with piles of school work coating it. The freshman hated it. The endless papers shoved in his hands at the end of class, the loud laughter just outside his door as his parents walked past. But what he really hated was the sound of his little brother shouting. It drove him crazy. The sound of his door opening and soft footsteps patting over to him makes him clench his hands into fists.  _

_   
"Min~," a small voice calls as two tiny hands pull at Jaemins shirt. "Min momma said-"  _

_   
"I don't care!" He shouts as his hand slams down on the desk. "Get out of my room you annoying brat!" Faint sniffling fills his room before his baby brother is running from his room crying. There's silence for a short while as he stares at his desk before leaning back in his chair stretching.  _

_   
"Na Jaemin," his father's cold voice practically growled out catching his attention. "What did you say to YangYang? He came running into mine and your mothers room sobbing."  _

_   
"Told him to get out of my room, I'm trying to do homework." Jaemin mumbles out as he taps a pencil against his worksheet.  _

_   
"He just wanted you to read to him. You never acknowledge his existence. Why is that?" His father crosses his arms over his chest as he stares at his son.  _

_   
"Why does it matter? This is the most attention I've gotten from you in three years." The sound of the door slamming shut has him sniffling. "I just want it back to how it used to be." His voice is small as he goes back to his worksheet.  _

_   
Time passes before he notices. When he finally sets his pencil down, his ringtone fills the room. Checking the time he hits answer.  _

_   
"Hey pretty thing~ I've missed you." A deep voice speaks through the device.  _

_   
"It's 3am, what do you need?" Jaemin is generally confused. He never gets calls this late, ever.  _

_   
"Awe pretty thing I need your help. My friends are away for the weekend."  _

_   
"Give me 5 minutes and I'll be downstairs." He ends the call, his breathing labored. He really hated that nickname but everytime he hears it, it means a night of attention. Yet it also brings the following day full of pain in both his back and head. His hand pushes his hair back as he squeezes his eyes closed. After a few seconds they reopen and he snatches his red bag off the floor throwing his charger into it. The only sound is faint footsteps as he tiptoes through the dark hall. Once he reaches the stairs he breaks out into a run, nearly tripping over his own feet.  _

_   
He barely keeps himself from slamming the door shut as he runs down the long driveway and to the awaiting car. His hand grabs the handle just as the world around his distorts, the face of the driver looking at him with an inhumane grin. He backs away only for everything to melt into darkness.  _

  
"Jaemin, it's time for lunch," the teens eyes snap open as he breaths heavily. His hand grips his shirt as he stares straight ahead, his vision unfocused. "Hey, deep breaths remember?" Jungwoo sets the tray in his hands on the nightstand before kneeling in front of the panicked teen. He gently holds the youngers face as he taps his finger lightly against Jaemin's cheek. "Count with me okay? 1…"

  
"1…" Jaemin swallowed the lump forming in his throat. 

  
"2..." 

  
"2…" The smile that slowly forms on Jungwoos face aids in his head clearing. 

  
"3…" 

  
"3…" His face is released as he lays his head back down on the pillow. 

  
"We'll wait for a little bit before you take your meds and eat okay?" Jaemin melts at the feeling of a hand running through his hair. "How are you feeling after some rest?" 

  
"Still sore but much better," there's a small smile on face. 

  
"Nana, I have a question, you need to answer truthfully." Jungwoo waits for a response but only gets a small nod. "What happened at the house?" 

  
"I don't kno-" 

  
"I want the truth." 

  
"I, I, um.." Jaemin struggles to get the words out as the memories from that night play over in his mind. "I did a very bad thing Woo." 

  
"What'd you do?" Jungwoo urges softly as he continues to run a hand through Jaemin's hair. 

  
"I made nono mad, like very mad. I left the guys and went off with some friends from school. We got drunk and smoked a little and I lost control of myself. I, I," his eyes begin to water, "I slept with him. The guy nono hates from school and constantly threatened. I did a bad thing and let him touch me." The 18 year old teen breaks down, shaking as he refuses to look at the older. 

  
"You don't have to be scared nana. You can tell me what happened. Did Jeno hurt him?" There's a small "yes.." as Jaemin hides himself further. "How many were there?" There's a long pause before Jaemin responds. 

  
"6, including myself. I only knew two though. The one I slept with and the driver. The other three I never met before." 

  
"You're doing so good nana. Can you tell me what happened after Jeno showed up?" 

  
"He yelled at me and dragged me to his car. Kept rambling on and on that I was his and his only, that no one could touch me. I was so scared Woo, he kept speeding up until I told him what he wanted to hear. But his eyes, god his eyes were those of a crazed man." Jaemin can feel his chest restrict as he tried to breath. 

  
"Take a break until you're ready. I promise I won't go anywhere, so take your time." Jungwoo didn't care how long it took for him to get answers. He'd sit there and wait weeks if it meant helping the younger. 

  
"We got home and he dragged me from the car and up to his before shoving me to the ground. He went on and on about me being a whore and how a pretty thing such as myself could end up at the hospital. He mentioned my parents being fed up with me before ripping that damn knife through my leg and throwing me on the bed." 

  
"Were you scared?" 

  
"Of him? Yes. Of dying? No, I welcomed the idea…" His voice trailed off before speaking again. "He didn't want anyone else to have me so he planned to kill me but you guys showed just as the knife went across." His eyes trail to a small figure standing just a few paces away from the nurse. When he realized who it was, he shot upwards. 

  
"Jaemin? What's wrong?" Jaemin held a hand out, pointing at the figure. 

  
"What's he doing here!?" 

  
"Who?" Jungwoos eye brows knit together in confusion before turning to look behind him. "Oh! That's Kuns son. He adopted him four months ago." There's a bright smile on the nurses face as he waves the small boy over. The 6 year old hesitates before slowly walking over, hands instantly clutching Jungwoos shirt as he stares at Jaemin. "He's a bit untru-"

  
"Adopted… You said he's adopted? Four months ago correct?" Jaemin stares at the child, eyes wide before turning to slits. 

  
"Yes wh-" 

  
"What happened to my parents Jungwoo." Said male is taken aback by the teens voice. He's never seen the other angry before. 

  
"Wha-" 

  
"My. Parents. What happened to them and why's YangYang here?" 

  
"I don't know what you're talking about. I never asked Kun what happened to YangYangs parents…" He trails off confused. "How do you know his name?" 

  
"He's my baby brother. The reason why I'm here to begin with. If my parents just didn't have another kid I never would've become an attention seeking slut. I never would've had my life ripped from me!" 

  
"Jaemin!" There's a stern voice that calls his name making the boy look towards the door. In a white medical coat stands the hospitals head doctor, a serious look on his face as two other people stand next to him. "Taeyong, please take YangYang to get lunch. Jungwoo Doyoung wishes to speak to you in private about...certain things." The nurse nods before standing and leaving the room with the blue haired doctor. 

  
"C'mon Yang," the red-haired nurse holds a hand out to which the small child latches onto, "let's get you lunch. If we're lucky we'll run into Johnny and he can give you a piggyback ride." The two leave, leaving the head doctor and teen. 

  
"You're parents died in a robbery gone wrong. I couldn't just leave YangYang to the foster care system Jaemin. We both know what can happen." The doctor doesn't leave his spot from the doorway. 

  
"What happened to Donghyuck doesn't always happen to everyone." Jaemin glares at the man as he clenches his fists. "Kun, you know I trust you with my life, but you should've let that mistake rot-" a sharp pain causes his cheek to sting as his eyes slowly widen. 

  
"He was not a mistake Na Jaemin. The only mistake  _ here is you. I should've aborted you when I had the chance!" His mother screams in his face as he tried to not cry. He'd come back from his 'friends' house completely trashed. His eyes were a bright red from smoking and now crying as he bit his lip to hold the sobs back.  _

_   
"How dare you leave the house at 3am and not come back until 7am!" Now it was his father screaming at him as the strange men in white stood in the background watching silently. "You're mother was worried sick about you and not to mention, YangYang wouldn't stop crying for you. We're done letting you run around and screw your life up. As of today, you are no longer our son."  _

_   
"B-but daddy," the 15 year olds lip trembles as he stares at his parents through blurry vision.  _

_   
"Pack your things and get out Jaemin." His father pointed towards the stares with a stern look.  _

_   
"I'm son. You can't jus-" Jaemin sobbed as he tried to plead with his parents.  _

_   
"No son of mine will waste their life on drugs and sex. Now pack your things and get  _ out. Get out." Jaemin began shaking. Both fear and anger consuming him. 

  
"Jaemin I'm so-"

  
"Get out."

  
"Please, Jaem-" 

  
"I said get out!" 

  
"I'm so sorry," Kun whispers as he leaves, shutting the door behind him. He never meant to hit the boy. His anger had gotten the better of him and he lashed out. As he walked down the hall, he could hear the screams and shouts of a broken child.


	3. iii

The dark and silence had really started to bug the raven haired boy. He wasn't sure how long it'd been since dinner, but he was really craving for someone to talk to. As if the heavens above heard his prayers, a soft tapping came from the window. 

  
"Tapping on the window isn't going to get me talking Doyoung." The blue haired doctor had tried countless methods to try and get him talking but failed every time. 

  
"It's me nono…." A soft voice called before hiccuping. 

  
"Minnie~" a smile formed on Jenos face as he slowly stood and approached the door, palms laying flat against the cold metal. "What's got my baby coming to visit unattended huh?" His eyes suddenly darkened at the sight of the younger crying. "Baby?" 

  
"I got hit after lunch…" Jaemin lifts his head but refuses to look at the other as he softly taps on the metal lock. 

  
"Who hit you?" Jeno struggled to keep his voice level, his body going hot as his mind went blank. 

  
"Kun. He got mad that I told him my brother was better off dead than adopted." 

  
"Brother?"

  
"My parents had another son when I was 13. It's the reason why I crave attention so much. They basically forgot about me unless I was getting in trouble, and even then it was just them telling me to go to my room." Jaemin admits, not even flinching when Jenos hand collides with the door. 

  
"They forgot about my baby?" The enraged teen says coldly as the other nods. 

  
"I started acting up and they got fed up so they sent me away. Died around four or so months ago and Kun adopted my brother. He reminded me of my father the way he looked at me." There's a silence between the two as Jaemin continues to tap his finger against the doors lock. 

  
"Minnie, do you hate me for what I did?" Jeno watches as the other shakes his head. "Would you hate me if I hurt someone else?" Again the teen shakes his head, eyes seemingly void of emotion. Jeno stares at the door in confusion as a soft click is heard and the metal inches away from his hands by just a few inches. 

  
"He hurt me nono," Jaemin looks up through his lashes arm wrapped tightly around a plush rabbit, fur black as night and a deep red X marking where it's left eye should be. "I want you to hurt him. Break him and make him suffer." 

  
"Will it make you happy?" Jeno can't help but look between the rabbit and Jaemin. 

  
"Yes." 

  
"Then I'll make him feel a world of pain." He steps out of the room, wrapping his arms around Jaemins waist holding him tightly. "No one hurts what's mine and gets away with it." 

  
"You're right nono, I am yours," the words are whispered softly as Jaemin pulls away from the elders hold. "I'll be in my room." Cold eyes watch as the teen walks away and down the corridor before following after. 

  
It doesn't take him long to find his way to the housing wing as he quietly wanders past the rooms. He carefully reads each name on the door until he finds the one he's looking for. Taking a blank card, he swipes it before jamming a screwdriver into the doors lock. It takes two tries but he manages to unlock the door and open it quickly. He slips in, making sure to shut the door behind him. Glancing around, he notes the empty child's bed in the corner near the window. Checking the bathroom and closet brings nothing up. Making his way to the bed, he stands over the sleeping figure, scalpel in hand. He places the blades edge against the person's cheek pressing enough to make a small hiss sound. 

  
"What…" A tired voice sounds as the figure wakes up, groggy eyes looking around him. "What's goin-" a hand covers his mouth making him look up with terrified eyes. 

  
"Hi Kun!" Jeno whispers, a smile on his face. "I heard you hit my Minnie and made him very upset," his smile changes to a pout before finally giving way to a hard jaw and cold lifeless eyes. "He told me what you did. How can you hit a child huh? Especially one that's been through so much shit." Kuns muffled cries only seem to add on to the anger the teen is feeling as he straddles the doctor. "He told me you adopted his precious baby brother after their parents died." 

  
Kun watches as Jeno grabs a cloth from his pants pockets. He tries to lift his arms but the teens knees keep them pinned by his side. He wants to scream but the hand on his mouth drowns out any sound he makes. Even when it's lifted only to be replaced by a cloth being shoved into his mouth. His eyes sting from unshed tears as he thinks about what's to come. 

  
"Minnie said I could only hurt you, which is a shame. However, I can still make you feel a world of pain nonetheless." A pained scream was muffled as the scalpel cuts a thin line across skin. Small trickles of blood run until they stain the bed sheets. 

  
Soft muffled cries and screams filled the room as countless cuts and stabs decorated the head doctors body. The bed had quickly become a red mess against the white room. One last cut across the arm and Jeno smiled. He smiled brightly as the medical instrument dropped from his hand, making a soft  _ clunk _ sound against the tile. With ease, he slid off the barely conscious male and onto his feet. Carefully, he stepped around the pools of blood and to the door. Looking back once more, he admired his work before slipping out and shutting the door.

  
He made his way back down the hall with just as much ease as before. The only catch was the lone security guard making his way from the hospital wing towards the back exit. He managed to hide behind an empty nurses station before slipping by and past the double doors. Once he made it to their old housing wing, he broke out into a quick jog as he passed the rooms. He only came to a halt once he reached a dull Pink door. If he looks to his right, he can see a black door covered in paint splatter partially closed. He doesn't need to look inside to know it belongs to Renjun, the ever spotless room an artists dream. 

  
However, when he does look, he can see a plush rabbit, black fur just like Jaemins, only the X is now purple and over the right eye. He gifted the rabbits to the two when they first arrived 2 years apart. He doesn't remember exactly why but it was like a burning desire. Something he just had to do at the time. He shakes the thought away before placing a hand on the handle and pushing Jaemins door open. The younger is sitting on his bed, plush rabbit held tightly to his chest as he stares out the lone window. "Minnie?" The raven haired boy softly shuts the door as he awaits an answer. Yet none come as he continues to stand still.   
  


The room remains in silence, the only sound is the soft ticking of a clock hung high up on a wall. Just as he's about to call out again, a soft voice beats him. "Did you make him suffer?" Scared eyes flicker towards him before looking back out the window.

  
"He'll be lucky if someone finds him before he bleeds out." There's a soft hum of acknowledgement as Jeno cautiously makes his way over. "Are you scared?" There's no judgment in his voice as he speaks. 

  
"Of?" It's a single word that holds so many questions but lacks the answers the older seeks. 

  
"Of me? Of them?" There's a dip in the bed but the pink haired teen remains unmoving. "Of what they'll do when they find out?" 

  
"You ask a lot of questions Jeno." Jaemin finally looks towards the other, face void of anything, yet his eyes scream an ocean of emotions. "I'm scared of what you're capable of. I'm scared of what my own mind will do to me. I'm scared of what this world is capable of. It can break and destroy children in mere seconds, yet build an emotionless adult in just years. We live in a world where fear rules." 

  
Jeno stares at the other, mouth agape as he tries to form words. His mind remains blank as he watches the younger turn his back to him yet again. "You can kill me in a heartbeat but I could never hurt you. Renjun could break you down, word by word, yet you could never hurt him. It's an endless cycle we're destined to live. In white walls or green filled fields, we'll always be at each other's throats till the end of time." 

  
The room falls back into silence as Jeno looks around. A frown tugged at the corner of his lips as he notices the once empty desk piled with familiar objects. There's a notebook decorated in flower stickers with a "JL" in the corner of the cover. Besides it lays a sketch pad dotted in paint, the edges frayed from years of use. Atop it lays a small plush duck, a small tear in the wing where stuffing had begun to fall from. Sitting on the edge of the desk is a worn down black leather bracelet he vaguely recognizes. Resting against the bracelet is a small microphone pin with the back clip long since missing. Off to the side of the collection is a vibrant orange lighter on a pastel green chain. 

  
The black haired teen gently lifts the bracelet before startling at the sound of tapping. With a dull thud, the leather object lightly bounces against the white tiles below his feet. 

  
~

  
Mark let out a huff of annoyance as he knelt down to grab his bracelet. He'd been meaning to ask Johnny to get the clasp fixed as the old worn down object had reached its end. As he stood back up, he stuffed it into his jacket pocket before jogging to catch up with the others. 

  
"Why'd you disappear for a second?" The fiery redhead glanced over his shoulder for a split second before turning his attention back to the sidewalk before him. 

  
"Bracelet fell again." Mark gave a quick response as he fell into step with the younger. 

  
"I thought you got that fixed last month?" A second voice spoke up from Marks right as a light clicking followed. 

  
"And I thought Kun took that lighter from you when we left." There was no bite behind the elders words as a chorus of laughter filled the air. 

  
"Touché Lee," Chenle shakes a finger as he turns around to face the others, a pastel green chain hanging from his jeans pocket, "but speaking of the dear ol' doctor, has anyone heard from him?" There's a mixture of head shaking and shrugs as the blond frowns. "He was supposed to call before we left for my hourly check in but I haven't heard from him in hours." 

  
"Maybe something came up," Renjun quickly dismissed the issue as he pulled the sleeves of his sweater over his hands. "I mean he does have two patients to look after again. After all, we all know how crazy things can get at times." There's a heavy sigh from the younger Chinese as he turns back around. 

  
They continue their walk in silence until the youngest of the group suddenly moves towards the entrance of a store. No words are exchanged as the others follow without hesitation. Inside, they're met with two floors of endless clothing and different objects. They split into two groups before making their way around after agreeing to meet back in an hour. Mark finds a small case of jewelry atop the check-out counter. There's a leather bracelet staring back at him as he looks at the cases contents. He's tempted to get it but deems it unnecessary as he walks away at Donghyucks call for help. When he reaches the redhead, he's forced into choosing which of the many shirts before him he likes best. He settles on a simple black one with rips here and there. There's even a thin chain attached at the collar ending at the hem so it dangles on an angle. The younger seems to agree with his choice as he begins placing the other shirts away before moving on to look at other articles of clothing. 

  
As Mark begins drifting between the racks of clothes, he softly hums to himself. Nothing seems to catch his eye as he walks from one end to the other. He's about to head downstairs to the first floor but a dull itching stops him at the very top of the stairs. His brows knit together in confusion as he pulls his sleeve up expecting his skin to be irritated. However, he's met with faded scars and pale skin that only itches the longer his sleeve remains up. 

  
"It's all in your head Mark, just like always.." He softly scoffs as he utters the words over and over before letting his sleeve go as he heads downstairs. The lower he goes, the louder familiar laughter surrounds him. As he reaches the final step, he can see Renjun with a heavy blush as the younger two tease the elder. It brings warmth to his chest at the carefree interaction. He can't remember the last time they went out and everything felt right. He watches them for a short while, lips tugged into a smile as his hand let's the railing go. 

  
It's all too perfect for people like them. Everyone's smiling, they're happy and cheerful. Something they weren't allowed to be for years. Their perfect little world cracks as Mark turns the corner of an aisle. His smile falters as his phone rings loud and clear. The warmth in his eyes drains to something cold and distant at the name that flashes across his screen. 

  
Johnny it reads as he hits answer. He's met with faint yelling and screaming, those of which he never wanted to hear again. He can't make the words out as he stands frozen from fear. 

  
"Mark, there's been an accident. Kun was severely injured and the kids are holding themselves up in Jaemins room. A car will be arriving within the hour, please be ready to leave." With that, the line goes dead as his hand shakes. 

  
"Mark? Hey earth to Mark?" He can vaguely make out the sound of snapping mixed with Jisungs voice. "Hey you're worrying us. Everything alright?" He swears he responds. He remembers speaking before taking off in a sprint up the stairs and towards the entrance. 

  
The sound of shoes smacking the pavement and blood rushing fills his ears as he pushes through the burning in his lungs. His legs feel like jelly by the time he sees the house in view. He finally comes to a stop, hands on his knees as he struggles to catch his breath. 

  
"What's going on? Why'd you suddenly take off?" Donghyuck squeezes the elders shoulder as Mark coughs before straightening. 

  
"Kun," there's a sharp inhale of breath as a van pulls up before their driveway, "he's been attacked. Jeno and Jaemin are refusing to leave the youngers room. We've been requested back as soon as possible." He doesn't stick around to answer anymore questions as he jogs the remaining distance. There's the sound of footfalls following him, yet all he can focus on are the questions flooding his head. 

  
The drive to the hospital is intense. There's a cough to his right followed by the tapping of a foot against the floor to his left. Directly in front of him is Jisung, the youngest gulps loudly as he shifts in his seat. It's all like hammers to Marks head as he stares out the window. A sudden bang has him flinching as Donghyucks voice pierces the static in his ears. It's a curse, or maybe two, Mark can't tell as the iron gates come into view. A guard hits a button in his booth leading to the large gates opening. The van drives through and dread washes over all of them. They reach the back of the hospital where the van parks and they step out. 

  
"When you came back, I hoped it'd be under happier conditions." Taeyongs voice greets them as two nurses hold the doors open. "If you'd follow me please," he turns and heads into the white abyss. The group of five quickly followed after. It's eerily silent besides their footsteps until the usually cheerful nurse speaks. 

  
"Lucas found Kun in his room this morning. He was littered with different knife wounds and barely conscious. We have a general idea of what occurred but we still need to get Jeno back into his cell." They come to a stand still at the end of the housing wing. Their old caregivers are standing on either side of the hall, heads hung low. A few have red staining bits of their uniforms while others shake where they stand. Everything seems to slow down as Mark takes the first step. If he reached his arms out, he'd hit those standing next to him. Yet, everything feels too far, too distant and clouded as he walks towards the once vibrant pink door.

  
"Jaemin, open the door." He doesn't recognize the voice coming out of his mouth. "Nana you're not in trouble, we just need to talk." A familiar scene plays out in his head. A scared and upset Jaemin, aged 15, opened the door after locking himself away for days. But this isn't three years ago. 

  
This is 2019, and Jaemin is no longer a smiling and bubbly teen. His eyes are sunken while his cheeks appear hollowed. It makes Mark sick to his stomach as he glances past the taller. There's a figure curled up on the bed just barely in sight. 

  
"You should've stayed away. You and the others have no place in this." Mark hisses as the door slams against his foot. 

  
"Jaemin, you can't lock yourself away. Jeno needs serious attention for his mental health and you need medical attention." Marks eyes widen at the empty laugh he receives. 

  
"Jeno's fine. He won't hurt anyone, trust me." Jaemin glances over his shoulder, a distant look to his eyes. "He's a perfect little angel destroyed by society." His hand falls from the door as he walks towards the bed. Mark watches carefully as he steps into the room. The figure on the bed he's come to realize is Jeno hasn't moved. 

  
"Jaemin is Jeno okay?" Mark holds a hand up when Johnny makes a move to enter. 

  
"Of course he's okay. He's never been better." Jaemin stops mid step once he's just a few feet from the bed. "He's my nono, how can he not be okay?" The pink haired teen begins rubbing vigorously at his eyes. "I just want him to wake up. He's been really tired and won't wake up Mark. I'm worried." 

  
The elders eyes widen when he finally notices the dark stain on jaems shirt and arm. "Get him to the medical wing!" His voice is drowned out by Jaemins hysterical crying. Desperate filled pleads and screams trigger the others to move as Mark holds the younger from behind. He wraps his arms around the youngers keeping them pinned to his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been a while but I'm getting back into writing this story. At the posting of this chapter, I've already started chapter four.


	4. iv

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance, this chapter is quite dialog heavy and there's also two implied suicide attempts

The world comes to a halt as Doyoung rolls Jeno over. The youngers eyes are closed, a peaceful expression that leads the viewer to believe he's merely asleep. Jaemins screaming quickly turns to static as the black haired nurse looks the cold body over. There's a large brownish puddle that sends ice through his veins. Once his eyes reach Jenos abdomen he lets out a scream himself. It's clear someone had intended to gut the teen. He's quickly pulled away as Johnny lifts Jeno onto a stretcher. They're gone in a flash and a scream sounds from the hall. He thinks the voice belongs to Renjun but he honestly couldn't tell. 

  
"Doyoung you need to breathe before you pass out." A distant voice whispers in his ear as a hand squeezes his shoulder. Black spots quickly take over his vision before everything is consumed. He waits for the impact of falling but it never comes.   
  


~

  
There’s screaming coming from somewhere. Renjun believes it to be his own voice but it sounds too shrill, too full of fear that he can’t trust his own mind. There’s a sharp pain in his knees as they collide with tiled flooring as the stretcher is wheeled past them. He can feel hands grabbing and pulling at him from all angles. Someone yells and others speak so rapidly that he can’t make out the words. He says something himself yet no one seems to pay him any mind as the hysterical pinkett is pulled from the room. At some point he grows numb from sitting for so long, or maybe from something else, he’s not sure. He lifts his head to an empty hall long since abandoned. He places a hand against the wall and uses it as support while pushing himself to his feet. 

  
“Fucking mental,” he mutters to himself as he stumbles towards Jaemins room. As he enters, he lifts a hand towards his nose as the stench hits him. The first thing he sees is the dried blood spotting the bed. “What the hell happened?” He looks around the room before walking over to the dresser. He doesn’t expect to find blood drops leading towards it. Sighing, he pushes the dresser away from the bed. It’s a lot more work than he’d like to do but he wants answers. 

  
Laying on the floor in pieces is a dinner plate. The edges on one piece are stained a vibrant red, clearly used to attack some he supposes is Jeno. He carefully picks the piece up before placing it back down. Renjun quickly pulls his phone from his pocket before snapping a photo of the mess before him then moving back over to the bed and doing the same. As he turns to leave, he spots the items strewn across the desk. He frowns heavily as he snaps another photo just before making his way over. He lifts his sketchbook before setting it down once again. However, he lifts the journal up flipping it over in his hand. Gripping it tightly, he leaves the room heading for his own. He shuts and locks the door before sliding down, his head bouncing lightly against the wooden object. His phone makes a  _ clunk _ sound as he drops it besides him. He doesn’t waste any time opening the booklet in his hands.

  
“Lets see how your mind works Jeno.” Skimming over the first few pages leaves him disappointed. It’s not until he comes across a page dated back to 2013 does Renjun stop to read the full entry. 

_   
September 2013, _

_ I overheard the doctors talking about a new patient. They said he was prone to lashing out and violent tendencies. I wonder who he could be.  _

  
He flips the page stunned to see the writing style switches as the entry moves down the page. It’s as if the writer changed mid sentence, sometimes mid word. “What is going on with you?” He questions the air as he runs a finger over the ink marks. 

_  
September 2013,  
__  
I can hear him again. Doyoung said I was doing better but something triggered him to come back. The new patient is arriving tonight and everyone is running around like crazy. _<strike>_I hope he leaves._</strike> _IM NOT LEAVING ANYTIME SOON. IM HERE TO STAY ESPECIALLY IF THERES NEW BAIT__ We aren’t hurting the new guy. I promised to get better and I’ll keep my word. I’ve been doing good on _<strike>_making_</strike> _YOU DONT NEED FRIENDS!, YOU HAVE ME! IM ALL YOU NEED JENO! __Jisung started opening up to me. We played some games in the common room. I think we’ll be really good _<strike>_friends soon._</strike> _I KEEP TELLING YOU, YOU DONT NEED FRIENDS. THEY DONT CARE FOR YOU! IM THE ONLY ONE THAT CARES. IM THE ONLY ONE THAT EVER CAR-_

  
The entry cuts off and Renjun shuts the journal, as the feeling of dread washes over him. He abandons the booklet by his door as he quickly stands. Using his foot, Renjun pushes his phone towards his desk before walking over to his bookcase. He pulls a brand new sketchbook off the shelves before tearing the plastic off. He sets it on his desk then begins digging around his countless cases of pencils and pens. Renjun ends up settling on an unopened box of drawing pencils and a 100 count set of colored pencils. It takes him a few minutes to get everything set in a way it doesn’t take up the entirety of his desk. He spends the next few hours sketching out an image before adding colors where he deems it necessary. When he’s finished, he’s left staring at a boy hunched over a desk with a book open, words decorating the page. Behind the figure is a shadow with menacing eyes made of blazing fire. Words such as ‘alone,’ ‘friendless,’ ‘scared,’ and many others are written in a scribble-like fashion filling the blank spots in the background.

  
A steady pattern of knocks sounds on his door pulling the artist's attention away from his drawing. Renjun carefully sets his red pencil down before stepping over to the door unlocking it. He’s not expecting to see the youngest standing in front of him, hands fidgeting with his sleeves. The elder stares waiting for an explanation as to why the teen is at his door. It takes him clearing his throat before Jisung finally reacts. 

  
“Sungie?” He reaches forward startled as the younger suddenly falls to his knees. There’s tears streaming down his face as body shaking sobs fill the hall. 

  
“I’m s-scared,” Jisung claws at the sleeves of his sweater before managing to grab a hold of them. “No one will talk to me and I can’t be left alone.” He rambles on as Renjun tries to figure out a way to calm the teen.

  
“Hey, Sungie deep breaths okay? Focus on my voice,” There’s a strained inhale as he slowly sits in front of the scared boy. “Deep breath and hold it as I count. 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10, release as I count again.” They repeat the action a few more times until Jisung is able to breath on his own. Every so often a small sniffle or sob will fill the room,   
  


~

  
“Please don’t leave me,” his voice is barely a whisper as he looks at the older. His hands tremble at the idea of being completely alone. 

  
“I’m not going anywhere, okay? You need me and I’m here to help.” Fingers run through his hair sending a calming feeling to wash over him. “Lets move you to the bed, yeah?” Jisung nods as Renjun helps him stand on unstable legs. They take a few steps over to the bed before both are collapsing in a heap of tangled limbs. 

  
A comforting silence over takes them as they both take in each other's presence. At some point, Jisung glances at the other to find his eyes closed. He looks away taking in the drawings and paintings on the walls and ceiling. He normally avoids going into the others rooms as he found it to be invading their space. The only exception to his rule was Chenle whose room was right across from his.

  
“Where’s your partner in crime?” Jisung flinches at the sudden voice as he slowly turns to look at the body next to him. 

  
“I don’t know. I went looking for him but I can’t find him. I asked around but everyone kinda shrugged my question off before going about their way.” A hand lazily pats his cheek before he’s met with eyes staring back at him. 

  
“I’d say he’s in Kuns room in the medical wing and they don’t want people crowding around. Either that, or he’s been put in isolation on a 24 hour watch.” A frown tugs at the corners of his lips at Renjuns words. “It’s the best explanation I have. Something drove Jeno to commit a horrendous crime which in turn led Jaemin to snapping and now we’re back here. Everyone’s going to react and behave differently from what we’re used to. Give it a little time to calm down.” Another pat and Jisungs frown begins to break through. 

  
“But Jeno’s never been in his right mind. He used to always threaten us until Doyoung took over as his personal care giver.” Jisung’s eyes flicker towards the ceiling again. They come to a stop on a drawing of a girl surrounded by shadows.

  
“What do you mean?” He doesn’t need to look at the older as the Chinese’s curiosity is evident in his voice. 

  
“Never ask him about the incidents. It sends him into a frenzy and he lashes out. When he first arrived back in 2012 they had him in a straight jacket. They only removed it in order to keep him in shape. He was allowed to lift weights and such but they never thought he’d lash out.” There’s a snicker from his left. 

  
“If him lashing out is nearly killing Jaemin and then Kun, I’d hate to have been on his bad side back then. Totally mental I tell you. He deserves to be locked up again then.” Jisung thinks he’d agree with Renjun had he never met the side of Jeno that begged and pleaded for help. For someone to understand and save him from himself. 

  
“You say that, but you don’t know him like me or Mark. You don’t know the side that would cry and plead for help but get ignored. The side that would starve himself in the hopes to end it all and finally be free from himself. To know one side of a person with many is not knowing them at all.” Jisung sits up as Renjun stares at him. 

  
“You don’t know him as well as you think Jisungie.” The elder tries to argue but he’s not listening. He won’t let others determine Jeno’s fate before they learn the whole truth. 

  
“He can murder without a care in the world because you’re right, he is mental. However, you’re forgetting he’s still a child. One that was never loved or treated like a human being. His emotions aren’t real, falsified in order to feel like he belongs. He’s lived a life full of fear, from others, but mainly from himself. Jaemin didn’t cut him, Jaemin didn’t talk him into hurting Kun. He did it himself. He took an excuse to cause harm in the ways he knows best. Jeno’s reached his limits and I’ll be damned if I sit around and watch him wither away by his own doing. Goodnight.” He doesn’t mean to sound so harsh. He doesn’t mean to slam the door or ignore Taeyong’s calls for him as he heads down the hall, the nurse chasing after. 

  
He’s angry. He’s upset with himself. He’s angry with the world for treating them, especially Jeno, like they don’t belong. Like they’re nothing but pawns to be played with in a cruel, endless game of life and death.

  
In his fit of anger, Jisung storms his way to the medical wing. He’s no longer on the search for Chenle. He’s on a mission to find the one person who kept him sane the past nine years. Jisung comes to a halt outside the last room on the right of the wing. There’s a sign with Mark’s name now worn from years of use. The letters are barely visible at this point, yet he turns the handle and opens the door. The machine to the right of the bed is off leaving the room in silence. Sitting on the window sill is Mark, the most sane of their group. 

  
He doesn’t need to speak as he rushes over to the older. Mark’s arm is out in an inviting way as Jisung falls into his arms letting out tears he didn't know were forming. 

  
“What happened Jiji?” Mark’s voice is soft, comforting as Jisung tries to calm his racing heart. 

  
“Renjun, he-he said some stuff.” He inhales a shaky breath as fingers rub soothing patterns into his back. 

  
“What’d he say?”

  
“That Jeno deserved to be locked up. That we don’t really know him like we think we do.” There’s a soft sigh from above him before he’s gently being pushed away. Jisung watches as Mark stands, Hand digging through his jacket pocket. He hands a small pressed flower in a pendent to the upset boy. 

  
“I’ve told you thousands of times, and I’ll tell you again, never listen to what others say. It doesn’t matter if they’re your lover, parent, family, best friend, or enemy. Only you and those involved know the truth. They can tell you their version, they can tell you their truth, but only you will be able to tell your truth from theirs.” Two hands gently cup Jisungs cheeks as Mark gently wipes his tears away.

  
“The things everyone says about Jeno will never, and have never been true. Don’t let it get to you. Look them in the eye and tell them the truth. Educate them on why they’re wrong and then move on. Leave their words and actions in the past. It can only hurt you for however long you hold onto the memory.” Jisung sniffles as he clutches the pendent tightly. 

  
Silence falls over the room once again as Jisung finds a spot on the bed. He can’t bring himself to ask why Mark has decided to lock himself away in his hospital room. Instead, he lets the elder show him his new bracelet. It’s not long before he’s becoming restless. Jisung steals glances at the other who busied himself with a text book on music history. 

  
“If you keep staring, you’ll soon be able to read my mind.” The others voice startles the younger as Jisung quickly looks away, cheeks a light pink. 

  
“Have you heard anything on Jenos condition?” He whispers too afraid to speak any louder. 

  
“Johnny hasn’t stopped by in a while, but he promised me he’d update me as soon as he finds anything out.Try finding something to help distract you.” 

  
“Like what?” Jisungs brows furrow together as Mark glances at him. 

  
“I don’t know. You like gaming, so try that. Hyuck’s in the common room with Jaehyun and Lucas if I remember correctly.” Jisung nods to himself as he stands. 

  
“I’ll see you later then.” He gives the older a hug before heading out. He’s quick to make his way to the common room not wanting to be alone for too long. When he enters, he can see some racing game being played on the tv as he carefully shuts the door. 

  
“I was wondering when you’d show up. I was starting to doubt Mark when he told me you need someone to play against.” Hyucks voice fills the room as Jisung cautiously makes his way over. 

  
“Where have you been?” 

  
“Jaehyun wanted to run some tests to make sure I was okay after what happened.” There’s a laugh from hyuck as the said nurse smacks his arm. 

  
“Liar, you snuck off to the nurses station to try and get some candy.” 

  
“I mean,” Hyuck shrugs as Jisung comes to sit on the floor by the olders feet. “I really needed something to eat and I know there’s no way I'd get a meal right now.” 

  
“Still, trying to sweet talk the nurses into getting you candy is kinda rude.” All of their heads turn to one of the chairs on the other side of the room. 

  
“Chenle you don’t get to say anything. You tried talking that one nurse into sneaking you some cake once just cause you wanted it.” Hyuck pouts and the blond glances at them. 

  
“I was fifteen and it was my grandpa’s birthday. I didn’t even ask for a whole cake, just a slice or something to celebrate.” 

  
An awkward tension settles between them as Donghyuck goes back to his game while Chenle turns his attention back to his book. Once the initial shock of their sudden argument wears off, Jisung is quick to his feet as he rushes over to the slightly older male. 

  
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you, you asshole!” The wind is knocked out of Chenle and Jisung as the younger hugs him tightly after colliding. “I really could’ve used your company earlier but Mark helped me calm down.” A gentle pat was placed against his back as he pulled away. 

  
“I’m sorry, Everyone was so worried about Kun and Jeno and then I was rushed to testing under Taeils orders. I just got out of them a few minutes ago.” Chenle apologizes as he sets his book down. “You’ve been crying Sungie.”   
  


“Well no shit honey, me and Renjun had a bit of a disagreement and I got mad.” He tells the other before standing back up. Can we go somewhere else? I’m tired from today's events.” He receives a nod and they bid goodbye to Donghyuck and Jaehyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So chapter four is officially out. During the next two weeks i'll have a ton of free time so I may be updating more.


End file.
